Well, not quite yet. But a lot of my family is going to be flying to Austin for my defense, so I need to have the graduation party plans settled ASAP so they can buy plane tickets (as they keep calling to remind me). This post is mostly for me to get advice from you guys who have done it already.
In the astro department a graduating student's advisor traditionally throws them a party the weekend following the defense. I emailed my advisor a week ago saying that it was awkward to have to ask him about it, but I had family flying in who needed to know what the schedule is going to be. I said that I understood that he will be moving back from Germany only a few days earlier, so that it might be tough for him to host a party. I also said that my mom and Tom M (of the boat parties) have both offered to throw me a party if that would be easier. I just asked him to let me know. I have not heard from him.
A tricky thing is that I will need to move to New York the weekend following my defense, so I would like to have my party early in the week (my defense will be on a Monday). That would also work a lot better for my family who will be missing work to come for the defense/party. I'm thinking Crown after the defense followed by nice dinner with the family, then on Tuesday family time and the party at night. That leaves the rest of the week for packing and turning in paperwork, etc.
The other thing is that I am friends with a lot of people outside of the astronomy department, and I want to have a big party that they can all come to as well. Heck, I might even invite the Graduate Dean and University President - why not? But also fun party people from my student governance days. I remember that Katelyn invited non-astronomers to her party, but there were only a few of them and we pretty much stayed segregated. Amanda had a separate graduation party bash at her apartment, which was awesome but I don't really have the time to have a lot of parties, nor is my apartment appropriate. So would it be weird to have a party where there would potentially be more non-astronomers than astronomers? Should I do a party in two-parts - cocktails then big bash? Or party followed by night on the town? Should I have the standard astronomy party at Tom's house the night of my defense and another big party the next night? Would that be weird for astronomers to go to two parties two days in a row? Is it weird to ask Tom to have a whole bunch of strangers to his house (my mom said she would hire caterers and/or pay for the bar)? And is his house too far away for those people to want to go to? Is it weird to have an astronomy graduation party at an Austin party venue instead of a chill party at someone's house with sheet cake? Would that make a t-shirt presentation weird (err, I mean, hypothetically, if there were some sort of surprise secret something or other...)? And since I appear to be taking matters into my own hands, what should I do about my advisor? So many questions!
I think I'm leaning toward just having my mom throw a big party at an Austin venue (location ideas welcome). My mom LOVES to host parties so she would be up for it for sure. I just can't picture Derek and Pawan hanging out with the guy who threw up on me on the ebus (just kidding, I'm sure David would be a lovely party guest). And I'm worried that it might spread me too thin trying to entertain and play hostess to all the different groups.
Oh, and I am fully aware that there is a chance that I won't pass or won't be allowed to have the defense that day. Perhaps this is what my advisor is thinking and why he didn't respond. But regardless I am moving to New York to start that job, so it will just be a big going away party if that happens.
So, thoughts?
My humble opinion: ignore the advisor, go either the Tom way, or the rental place way. In either case, you should definitely have one big party, and invite every person you want. I guess asking Tom what he thinks about extra people is a good idea. Don't worry about Pfluggerville, if people want to join, they'll find it.
ReplyDeleteHow many people do you want to meet with right after the defense?. I'm asking because I think Sao Paulo's is a good place for that. The margaritas taste like heaven after the closed door session.
I wouldn't mix party and night out, too many people, too much work. You should relax and enjoy the evening... I'm sorry I can't be there, it will be so much fun!.
Ooh, good call on Sao Paulo's. I don't even really like the Crown (blasphemous I know). And good point about too many people to coordinate going downtown. I wish you could be here too, thanks for the advice!
ReplyDeleteI also say ignore the advisor for your party plans, but I will tell you that the evening after mine, he took me and my parents (Rob was on call and thus not in town) out to a really nice restaurant.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should worry about mixing groups. People might segregate, but that's not the end of the world.
I too am sorry I won't be there, although I suppose there is more feasibility of me making it there than Eva! :)
its ok for people to mix and meet - invite everyone! and then they can all witness the wonderful t-shirt presentation, which i think they will all appreciate! if youre mom is willing to do a bit of work, reserve a place - the salt lick, the elks lodge (great view of downtown), sholz biergarten, paggi house - and let her worry about the details.
ReplyDeleteforget about the advisor. sheesh, why are they more of a burden than a help at this point?
have fun and enjoy! i also wish i could be there to celebrate (minus the 100 degree temps!).
ps. i find it entertaining that you've talked a lot about moving and preparing a party, but not a lot about the actual content or results of your thesis ;) i'm sure you'll do great in the end!